i've talked about this with a lot of my women friends... i thought it would be a fun topic.
recently while attending a show at Richards on Richards, i stated to some of the women in the toilets that the bathroom was one of the worst in all the clubs but thankfully they had repaired the ceiling.
the women laughed, and agreed that the ceiling had been a horror show, and were surprised to see it had been repaired and painted purple. telling me they had learned to just not look up!
but still, not one of the doors in the stalls has a working latch to lock it. requiring (a) someone else to hold the door for you (which the women were doing when i made my comment to them) or requiring (b) you to hold the door closed while you go.
which leads me to the trapeze-like artistic skills of the SQUAT that i find myself tackling in most women's cans...
any decent woman knows this move. you don't actually sit on the seat but merely squat over it. YES I THINK ALL PUBLIC TOILETS require this move. there are times i wish i were a man and able to pee on a wall, but then i hear about "splash back" and am glad i have a private stall to squat in.
but there is the trick.
imagine the skill it takes to squat like that AND hold closed a door that doesn't lock!
and then acquire TP, wipe, flush, and put your clothes back to normal... all without ever touching the seat... it is a masterful accomplishment. specially if you are drunk! thankfully i have strong thighs and 20 years of practice.
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
12:50 PM 5 comments
hahaha splash back. I never thought about that. Canada seems to not have the seat covers like we do in Cali. Its required in al the restrooms I think. Sometimes those babies arent enough though. ungh being a woman never gets easier ;o)
oh yah those paper thin little rings are rare here, i think i saw them in a restaurant once but never a club. there are so many bad bathrooms, but even if they were still shiny and clean i won't sit on them. i have a really phobia about it... it is yucky.
a. that is a picture of the sunset from Sunday dinner/drinks with Astra on Commercial Drive. Ikea is full of funky colorful junk i want but refuse to buy... but i WILL however if i end up winning the 30 MILLION this saturday on the 649 !!!!! ummm now what are some lucky numbers...
yes yes, i am an ass. but a lovable one.
b. i should have let you spill vodka and juice on my keyboard sooner... it is so CLEAN now! i'll put the "spare parts" in a safe place until next time... you drunkard.
and yes i forgive you.
c. speaking of silly things: this was the speckle last night...
bucket on the head, pants around the ankles... Aaron Grant needs help.
d. Tuesday was my father's 60th birthday. he's doing well, thanks.
e. Tuesday was also fajita night. Ummmm sour cream and hot salsa...
ps. you are adorable in your work clothes.
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
12:25 PM 2 comments
Wow! Haven't visited your blog in quite a while (get your email) -- I love this new template! Your photos are amazing as always but I particularly like the first one and the black and white one. Makes me want to be there! *smoochies*
thanks to Katie for always sending me cards in the mail. it makes getting mail exciting.
kitties love attention.
bear has a new sleeping spot... in the closet laundry hamper.
i have spent the last 3 days painting. i have more spots to finish up but the main parts are done. i can say i think the color should have been darker, but hey i didn't pick it and i am just grateful for all i have got. jess is happy it is done, and is watching Interview with a Vampire. she likes Brad Pitt ;)
and this is a little something i wrote in early 2004...
Unity Project: Infinity
There is only one human race. Remove the customs, the cultures, the differences in our eyes and skins - we are all one and the same. Remove the narrow religious perspectives and you will see we all have faith. We all have hope. We all want to live in peace with one another with the freedom to be ourselves without persecution for being different.
Individually we must each seek that inner harmony, that center inside of us that gives us balance to know when to do the right thing and to know what is wrong. Individually we need to stop allowing ourselves to use excuses to dismiss our own bad behavior. Individually we need to be accountable for our actions and the consequences of those actions. Before we can demand change in others - we must first change ourselves.
That is the hardest part.
That is what I strive for. I am trying to be a better person everyday. I am trying because it starts with me.
This planet can not sustain the life styles our grandfathers and fathers before us have created. This planet is dying because the human race is so blind to the devastation we create in the name of progress. This planet is our one and only home. There is no other place like earth, no where else for us to belong, we are all connected in a circle of life.
Charity has become a tax write off. A meaningless gesture without much thought. A coin in a jar. A means of getting rid of old clothes. Charity has been twisted into a means of recruiting people into your church. The goodness of charity has been stripped away over time by door to door religious recruiters, by telemarketing scams, by lack of morals. Guilt is no longer a strong enough persuader for charitable actions because we have tainted its original glorious meaning with money hungry lies.
Peace on earth has become a Christmas card greeting and nothing more. Christmas has become a shopping spree. The hippie movement of the late sixties ruined the image of peace with drugs and sex. Did they change the world? Or did they give up when they got money? Whatever happened to the idea? Whatever happened to the dream? The world is worse off then when they began marching on Washington. The world is a scarier place for their children. They did not achieve peace.
They were not about peace. They were about freedom to do whatever the hell they felt like no matter the cost to anyone else. They were about rebellion. They got what they wanted. A society of children raised on the attitude that no one else matters as long as they have the freedom to do whatever they want, including killing, stealing, and telling lies. They followed the parental examples. Their parents lied. Their parents stole. Their parents broke the rules. So why shouldn't their children do that to? Morality was lost. Parents stopped being role models.
Where are the heroes?
Are there no good people left on this planet? I think there are. I think we all have the potential to be those good people. If only we'd try.
I haven't got all the answers. But together the world holds all the clues. Together the human race could solve all our problems. Together we could unite and live in harmony. Unite and live in true peace.
Before that, each of us has to give up our preconceived beliefs. We have to open our minds to the possibility. We have to be more than excuses. We have to be more than that. We have to. There is only one human race.
I know in my life this probably will not be achieved, it will take generations to come, if we have generations... I just want to set before us a path towards that goal. To steer us towards that peace we could so easily be, if only we each tried. If only we could believe.
Imagine what 6 billion people working together could accomplish?
Billy Mac at www.critiquemyblog.blogspot.com - wrote a little review of my blog: This is a cool blog that reads, in my opinion, like the subject is really just talking to you. I can see a movie where the actor is doing regular daily stuff and the whole time you hear a voice over and the actor is thinking her thoughts and you can hear them. It's like that for me...really interesting...I've spent alot of time in this blog looking through the posts and think it is worth a look. There is also poetry sprinkled through out as well. Well done...I liked the blog alot.
...
that was sweet considering i love movies, but movies aren't real, even when based on true stories. truth is stranger than fiction for sure, for sure. i've had a life chalked full of out there stories. i've always been a story teller. since the days in elementary school when i used to go read story time to the kindergarten class, i have always loved story telling. supposedly my niece (picture below) loves the way i read to her (so my brother tells me)... i get into it, making voices for the characters etc...
i love movies, i enjoy the stories etc. i am a movie watcher. on the weekend i watched a few on TV. the biggest movie of all time Titanic was on. so was a favorite of mine Four Weddings and A Funeral (BUGGER! ahaha) and i watched Kate and Leopold. we also went to see Music & Lyrics on the big screen.
sum up, it has a few cute moments. it did bring up a lot of weird feelings in me. but i was already in a weird headspace... i even (GASP) painted my nails this awful green color... (which is being removed now). i adore Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore but frankly the movie is a bit flat. i am however certain that the young girl (she's 18 this year) that plays Cora Corman in the movie, will be masturbation material for years to come to boys around the world. i think she has a weird face and a floppy eye but that's just me and guys don't care about faces, only skimpy bodies in sexy outfits. well she sings in the movie, her first role, and now has a contract to record an album (gag).
but i shouldn't really complain. haha! i've always adored Hugh Grant (he's 47 this year) and oh my Hugh Jackman (he's 39 this year) god he looked amazing in that Kate and Leopold. i am looking forward to Wolverine. roar. ummm yes movies.
Sunday, March 18, 2007 8:15:30 AM: Manchild said... Obviously, you're extremely creative, talented, and gifted. I'm a professional photographer and can recognize that there's more to you than meets the eye.
Sometimes, the distractions we encounter in our daily lives are merely designed to keep us from focusing on what really matters. Where do you see yourself 5 & 10 years from now?
Do you plan to cultivate your creative gifts. Writing will enable you turn your painful moments into meaningful moments. That's what I did during my dark night of the soul.
Peace
i have always had a hard time setting goals for 5 to 10 years.
i mean heck, 10 years ago when i decided to teach myself how to make websites to display my creative writing and journal, i would have never thought that "blogging" would become what it has. life has a way of taking on its own "life" when it comes to the course of my being.
i go with the flow.
not to say i don't have goals. oh i do. but i don't time limit certain things.
specially now. i mean 6 years ago i started an idea for a company. where is it now? you just never know what life will bring you. that said, though, i will never stop being creative, or stop trying to expose more and more people, that are interested, to my creativeness. i suppose my goal is never to cease to be creative. if i ever were to stop being creative i think i'd die.
that being said, i think i will repost here some pieces of my creative stories in addition to my artwork creations. and remind you all that i continually post my poetry on my poetry blog wiredSecret.
no i am very happy with the "date" i regularly have - thanks. hahaha my my, it is amazing the length advertising will go to. i could delete it but whatever. it amused me.
Hey Barbara! Its Chantal again! I've decided to join the new millenium and start a blog. Duncan and I are going back to Korea in May, so I thought it would be a good way to keep up to date with everyone!
hey babe! smoochies to you both downunder... send me the link to your blog when you get it going. send me email and pictures and where to snail mail. SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH.
this is another image you can purchase on ImageKind if you so choose. just go click the box on the side panel.
i took this photograph of the sunset last april, and created the painting effect with photoshop.
i think the title "And I Painted The Horizon" was perfect for that time of my life, and somehow fitting right now. i couldn't be happier. oh okay i could, little things could be less worrisome, but in the greater sense of life, i am perfectly happy. there are things i surely will never understand the purpose of. never fully conceive why they happened to me, but i certainly feel as if i can finally drop all that baggage and move completely forward.
i really have to thank my stars for the joy these last months have brought me. oh sure there are sometimes tears but those are merely for the lingering inner hurt... tears that need to be shed. once they have been, there will be peace inside. i will probably always feel a little bit broken inside. but maybe with the help of my friends i can make myself whole again.
my fingers want to be on those keys, but they are rusty. help me oil them. give me the oil. give me a little time... and i'll give you everything i've got in return.
today is St Patrick's day. i'm not in these holidays, but it also a dear old friend of mine's birthday. so happy birthday Mr. Morris. i think i will lay low, drunken leprechauns are sure to be about and they bite and spit and steal your teeth.
Obviously, you're extremely creative, talented, and gifted. I'm a professional photographer and can recognize that there's more to you than meets the eye.
Sometimes, the distractions we encounter in our daily lives are merely designed to keep us from focusing on what really matters. Where do you see yourself 5 & 10 years from now?
Do you plan to cultivate your creative gifts. Writing will enable you turn your painful moments into meaningful moments. That's what I did during my dark night of the soul.
like when you watch a bad movie, you never want to watch it again... you rewind but don't repeat (although in DVD land that isn't the case)...
that's my thoughts. these next weeks are sorta kooky for me. no joke, on April 1st it will be a year since i up and changed my life. i'll admit it is weird being in the same building.
i look out on that back side and i think about sitting in the back of my step dad's truck crying uncontrollably, and the people coming and going looking at me funny, as my life got thrown in the dumpster. i think about the plain clothed cops who came to supervise the first night because "he" felt threatened by my brother. i love my big brother, he wouldn't have done anything unprovoked, but damn straight "he" should have felt uneasy about it.
(movie clip from Music & Lyrics that takes me back to memories)
i am happy about my choice. no regret there, just regret for the years i spent fooling myself prior.
i try not to think about the bad stuff. i try to remember the good things, like the way we could laugh and shared the same sense of humor. how we both quoted movies constantly. or the silly things we'd do for the kitties, building crazy blanket forts, and toy traps. or all those endless hours in the studio with music and graphics. but aside from those moments i can't find much more that i can say positive other than i know he loved me. i know i broke his heart, and even though i know he would never believe me, he broke mine. broke it long before i left.
i still feel broken.
i've been putting my pieces back together. i can hardly believe it has been a year. i guess it really does take a lot of time to adjust after spending 6 years, 8 months, 17 days with someone, to not having them around, to not having that life, no matter the up and downsides, it takes time to sort out.
"Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter. When they separate, man is no more." - Nikola Tesla
must be something in the stars but today i had the clearest vision of life.
it was sobering.
so totally sobering.
i'm feeling a bit worn down. probably not living right like usual. what else is new. i have never lead that "normal" life. when i was 14 turning 15 i used to go to this Young Adult Night Club called Changes that was in Surrey near Guildford. i had crazy black hair and was a weirdo. one night some news show recorded me and my impressions of the club. i was on the news, i never saw it but i remember people telling me they saw me. frankly i didn't even really think much of it at the time, i hardly recall standing at the "bar" giving my opinions, they asked and i gave. but that moment sticks in my memory because it sums me up.
i go with the flow.
i know i can never change people. people will always be who they want to be, you can't change anyone. hell - other people can't change me. a friend of a friend the other night offered me some constructive criticism. he told me i use the word FUCK too much. i told him frankly i didn't fucking care. and that most times he runs into me i am drinking so my verbal censors are not on high. what i refrained from saying to him was that, one of the reasons i am so mouthy like that toward him has to do with him. you see he's always trying to take it to me. he thinks he is being funny, but i don't find him funny. i find him drenched in desperation to be liked. i find him fake. specially towards me. so whenever he comes around with his pathetic wit, i get a little annoyed and let loose that oh so bad F word a little more. i mean hell as "awesome" as he tells me he thinks i am, i know how he is operating behind my back. i feel the stabs.
i'm not a possessive person. i never want to own someone. but i can't stand bullshit. mine or anyone else's. i think people like me because i am real. but maybe, just maybe, i am fooling myself thinking that anyone out there is real with me.
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
7:35 PM 3 comments
Darling... I couldn't agree with you more on this.. and I feel the same from this individual aswell..! I myself am not too 'graceful' when it comes to that word.. especially when the only thing you want from certain people is for them to 'fuck off'!! haha...
Fuck is my favorite word. I have to mentally stop myself from using it in certain situations but I do have the decorum to know when and where and who to tell to fuck off. I feel ya, on this one, lol!
after a loverly thursday and friday, saturday i trained it out to visit my family in White Rock. i was baby sitting my niece and dad. she and i watched the movie Flushed Away.
my dad is doing good, he gets sore and tired really quickly but he's in good good spirits. says he's more concerned about me. haha! i keep reminding him that i have choosen my life, rather than allowing him to bestow one on me. i tried that once. money changes people and back then i didn't like what it changed me into. i'd rather be dirt poor and totally happy and in love. besides, like i continually joke, i have a really good retirement plan. haha!!
i'd rather spend my life doing creative things, being me. the previous post reflects that. i am composing a book of poetry to sell on Cafepress. one day maybe i'll publish a novel that will become the greatest screen play of all time. who knows. i have a head full of imagination and creation. and finally not much fear of what other people think.
last night was sweet... letting down my guard more and more...
PS just in case you didn't notice i am now on the Blogebrity B-list... so B finally made it on the B
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
8:51 PM 0 comments
as you might have noticed i added a little button on the side panel that links you to ImageKind
i have created an account there and you can purchase my prints like the one below, with the ability to pick a nice frame and how you wish to have it framed. let me know if there are any certain images from my Flickr account that you would like to purchase and i will see if i can make it happen.
also the Unity Project CafePress Store is still selling UP stuff.
my dad's near death has given me a lot to chew on these last weeks of my life.
this clip from Kill Bill Vol 2 sums up my thoughts lately:
i know i stated would swing away from the personal talk in this blog but you know what, that just isn't me!!
my life has always been that "public toilet" that Matt once described it as. i like that about me. i don't take myself so seriously that i think anyone has to read what i write, i have just always written.
the other day when Paul was over we were comparing handwriting and i dug out an old journal from 1992 to show him some of my hand writing. he asked me why i still have it. given all the things i have thrown away in the last years (my paintings, my artwork, my really old poems (1000's hand written in binders) and pretty much everything material etc) it is to me a clear sign of what my truest creative passion is. words. (music is a very closely related second.)
i enjoy writing. i have started far too many novel ideas in my time. i have always attempted to force them to be finished but nothing ever gets to be. i've been playing around with that poetry collection book idea these last months. i think i have to do it, force it.
life so easily distracts me from the true path of my existence.
i know those of you who have been around me for many years have missed the woo-woo stories and crazy science tidbits i used to post. i miss that too, i had thought of doing them in that other blog but find it didn't inspire me... maybe i should start sharing that end of my life with you all again. i mean most people assume i'm crazy anyway so what the hell, i should share myself totally, completely... with the all the strangers of the world.
and thus i will. i will be me. because you can't go around being Clark Kent all the damn time.
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
4:44 PM 3 comments
unity would be wonderful, frankly though i think only near total annihilation by some force beyond the means of mankind will be the thing that brings it.
unknown, yes it has been a journey of life and death you have been on the last year.
my kitties survived the wall renos in the suite today. it is all pretty much done. now all i have to do is paint. the purple wall will no longer be purple. i wish i could paint the entire suite! i will slowly work on convincing her of that...
in other news, i forgot to mention that my dad is now back at home. he is taking it slow, and resting. he's happy to be out of the hospital. thank you to you all for your support and well wishes. my dad's 60th birthday is on the 27th. i am sure it is now even more significant for him (and us).
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
5:22 PM 1 comments
Your ability to go with the flow is a real asset, especially in the changing tides of love. However, sometimes you've got to cut across a current or reset your course. Now's one of those definitive times.
My horoscope for Wednesday, March 7:
It's time to step away from certain situations that aren't panning out, even if they're in the nascent stages. You've been around enough to see certain unmistakable warning signs early on. Get out while you can.
as i posted on Jas's blog... according to Charles Bukowski - Love Is a Dog from Hell. damn isn't it the truth!
you know, i was going to refrain from getting personal here but i have to say this.
last year in May i made the mistake one night of sleeping with someone i hadn't seen since April 2000. someone i thought i loved, but came to realize, i didn't even know the man. since then he has asked me many times for a repeat of that night, but i have continually refused. yet he recently made comments to Paul that made it seem like we have been having sex. which we are certainly not.
i've been honest about everything. i am not perfect, this i know, i'm insecure and feeling fragile. i'm highly emotional. but i only want to be with one man, i am only with one man, my best friend, Paul. maybe he doesn't want me the same way - this i accept. what can i do. and if Paul no longer trusts me all because of one night last May, and some bipolar asshole's psycho comments, maybe my horoscope above is right.
i'm all ready hurt, i'm all ready lost. right now i wish i was dead inside.
i think i am right when i say i don't think anyone will ever truly love me.
i'm tired of tears.
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
1:30 PM 0 comments
i'm such a girl. i didn't want to waste money on shoes, but i figured i don't have a pair of sexy heels, it was my birthday and they weren't that expensive... and since they had a very small imperfection on them, i convinced the girl to give me 10% off. i rule.
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
8:38 PM 2 comments
thanks to Astra for cheesecake and the card on friday, to Teresa for the flowers and beer on Saturday. it was an emotional weekend and what seemed like it would be the crappiest birthday - turned out to be the greatest.
thanks to the wonderful Paul for dinner, to Jimmy at Characters for a wonderful meal and the birthday shooter. the Yale was wonderful blues, and BIG thanks to Tim and Darren and Retrofit at Republic for celebrating my birthday with me. The Prince songs and the Tequila shooters were fab guys. Thanks to Patrick, Joel, Aaron and all for the fun time at Roxy Burger after.
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
2:55 PM 2 comments
I remember the first time I heard "Senses Working Overtime" (but didn't know the title)... I was thinking, "Why is 'six' working overtime? What's up with the rest of the numbers?"
This is so crazy, I posted a comment on another blog a week ago, it's title Making Plan's For Nigel...they didn't have the music though and it's been in my head ever since....I never knew the actual name was either..
my dad had surgery today titanium rods in his neck he's still in post op now we both have titanium parts in us i need a big fat piece of cheesecake
you know it is okay to miss someone even if it is a moment after you just saw them walk out your door. missing someone means you give a shit... but whatever, i guess i am one of those people who feel shit like that...
thankfully i have some wonderful women in my world... tonight i'm going dancing with one, tomorrow i'm having cheesecake with another.
one thing this whole scare with my dad has brought home to me is my life is set. all i need to do now is find my own happiness. i'm tired of wasting time wondering about the unknowns. the unknowns just aren't worth wasting time on. the unknowns don't miss you, they carry around the past in their wallet, and in their memories, and hold on to what was, instead of what could be.
i don't want my past, i only want my future. whatever that may be.
pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
8:33 PM 5 comments
my dad is doing great, he called my brother last night around 10ish (all high on morphine) and was full of cheer and happy that beginning of next week he should get to go home.
Hi B, Glad your dad came through the sugery ok. Its always scarey for older people to be put under. Will he have to wear a brace for a while? You keep out looking for your best interest. Strange sow an accident like this can get you prioritizing, isnt it? Wouldnt it be funny If I recognized your boyfriend? Maple Ridge isnt that small!
♥ The Love Blog by Vancouver Blogger Barbara Doduk ♥
A personal view of the world from a hopeful human being longing for a world of love, for an earth called Unity. Barbara Doduk was born in and resides in Vancouver British Columbia Canada and writes about her life, her city and her views on the world.
HOMETOWN: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
LIVING IN:
White Rock, BC
ABOUT ME: Barbara Doduk has had a web site since 1997, which included a journal. She started a web site to promote her creative writing, poetry and photography interests. Over the last 10 years the www has evolved and so has web journalling or as it is now known "blogging".
THE LOVE BLOG is her main personal journal.
WIREDSECRET is her poetry weblog.
THE UNITY PROJECT is her world wide photograph collection for unity.
After the last tree has been cut down,
after the last river has been poisoned,
after the last fish has been caught,
then will you find that money cannot be eaten.
♥THE LOVE BLOG♥ presents: ♥THE SPREADER OF LOVE♥ ♥AWARD♥
All I ask in return for presenting this award to anyone blogging out there, is that you include the following information in the blog post along with the image below:
This blog has been awarded The Spreader of Love Award created by The Love Blog, for an outstanding demonstration of blogging love.
hahaha splash back. I never thought about that.
Canada seems to not have the seat covers like we do in Cali. Its required in al the restrooms I think. Sometimes those babies arent enough though.
ungh being a woman never gets easier ;o)