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Wednesday, November 26, 2008
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This Old Dog Learns New Tricks
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People do change. As I have been noting, we evolve.
 Hopefully we don't evolve like that picture!
If you look at the brain as a computer, new information, new programs can be installed and the human brain therefore can be bettered by the new learning. Equally it can be destroyed by nasty programs and viruses. What you choose to learn is exactly that - A CHOICE.
Life is a choice.
Remember that from the movie Trainspotting?
Saying people can't change is the same as saying people can't learn.
When you learn something new that knowledge fundamentally changes you. Each piece of information adds to your personal database, creating additional resources to draw on when interacting with the outside world.
It is an EASY EXCUSE to say people can't change, which then removes any responsibility. Blame shifts. If you have no control over your self, then you can not be blamed for being a drunk, or verbally abusive, or fat and lazy, or addicted to drugs, addicted to porn, unfaithful, or... it goes on an on. Saying you can't change, is the biggest bullshit cop out ever.
Yes, fundamentally you will not change. You will still be you, but like I said it is like redecorating, reprogramming, upgrading... evolving! You - but better. Not new, but improved.
I once heard about this many years back, The Plaster Theory... is full of holes. Understanding Personality and its Change notes, there are five personality traits: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism (also known as OCEAN).
The Hard Plaster Theory suggests once you are about 30 that is who you are and you never change. However in numerous studies it has been shown that our OCEAN continues to evolve and change. We learn, we grow.
Personality change is constant and it happens at any age because at any age individuals can go through a number of experiences shaping their personality.
The most important thing is, the person has to WANT TO GROW, the person has to WANT TO CHANGE, TO EVOLVE.
You can not make someone else change !
But if you want to grow, to learn, you can.
Buddha's wisdom lay in realizing that the effort that goes into the production of happiness is worthwhile only if the processes of change can be skillfully managed to arrive at a happiness resistant to change. Otherwise, we're life-long prisoners in a forced-labor camp, compelled to keep on producing pleasurable experiences to assuage our hunger, and yet finding them so empty of any real essence that they can never leave us full.
All that being said, if you want to get technical, a schizophrenic can not change, certain mental illnesses can not be "fixed" and those people can not "change" although some can be medicated. A gay man or woman can not be "changed" into a straight person by "reprogramming". Fundamentally there are a few things that yup, can not change, but these are inherent to the individual.
Personalities however do change, and evolve based on the individual.
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pre-written & posted by Barbara Doduk & scheduled to publish @
12:34 PM
 
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You are correct - we can adapt and evolve but to totally change is somewhat beyond us I think. We have our tendencies. Just as we may be blessed with various talents, we may also be cursed with various weaknesses. We may learn to manage them, minimize them, balance them out, or perhaps over time, they simply cease to present themselves as the stimulus goes away but I don't think we can fundamentally change who we are even if we change the presentation. That doesn't mean we can't learn from our mistakes.
So someone with little money sense may learn some budgeting techniques to help them stay afloat or may find employment that allows them to spend more but they will likely never become a cheapskate - the temptation will always be there to blow the wad even if it fades over time. And that takes a lot of effort. Some people might mellow with age but I think most become even more themselves. The focus may change but the motivation stays the same.
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Maybe yes, at your age, you might feel you have seen/experienced more that leads you to believe people are not as in "control" of themselves as people would like to believe. Life is individual, and your experiences are unique to you, as mine are to me.
I know some people who refuse to change, or grow, thinking they are fine how they are. I know people who are always struggling to over come the "faults" they find in themselves. Everyone has their own personal journey.
For me personally, I am not someone who follows a religion but I find wisdom in the following and believe it's general meaning...
Give us grace to accept with serenity, the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
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The Love Blog by Vancouver Blogger Barbara Doduk
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A personal view of the world from a hopeful human being longing for a world of love, for an earth called Unity. Barbara Doduk was born in and resides in Vancouver British Columbia Canada and writes about her life, her city and her views on the world.
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You are correct - we can adapt and evolve but to totally change is somewhat beyond us I think. We have our tendencies. Just as we may be blessed with various talents, we may also be cursed with various weaknesses. We may learn to manage them, minimize them, balance them out, or perhaps over time, they simply cease to present themselves as the stimulus goes away but I don't think we can fundamentally change who we are even if we change the presentation. That doesn't mean we can't learn from our mistakes.
So someone with little money sense may learn some budgeting techniques to help them stay afloat or may find employment that allows them to spend more but they will likely never become a cheapskate - the temptation will always be there to blow the wad even if it fades over time. And that takes a lot of effort. Some people might mellow with age but I think most become even more themselves. The focus may change but the motivation stays the same.